Isn't it funny how different people react to ageing?

My dad looks at it as a gift, Jerome is terrified, and my aunty defies it.

I think it's a wonderful thing, but as I hit another milestone, I worry. Will I ever have my life together? I compare myself to my sister at my age and my best friend who is only a handful of months older than me. My life is full of uncertainty. I am absolutely terrified.

What will my career be? A writer? A teacher? A conductor of a local choir? Where will 'home' be? My parents' spare room or a flat in Thamel with only cold water?

On my tenth birthday, I remember sitting on my front porch next to Alannah reading the card my sister gave me. In it said 'Here's to the next ten!' I have such a strong memory of thinking 'The next ten are so far away! They're going to go sooooo slowly.' I owe it to my younger self that they did go slowly, but I'm glad they did.

I met incredible people and saw incredible places, I found God, abandoned him, and went through a few more faiths before settling. White wine got the best of me, I learned instruments, I fell in love, got angry and sent hand-written letters to cute boys. I said goodbyes- temporary and permanent ones- and sometimes I didn't even get the chance to do that. I graduated from schools, hit milestones, passed and failed. Found comfort and felt pain. I caught buses, trains, planes and tuk-tuks. I accepted change with open arms and forgave people who didn't really deserve it.

But the next ten? It's all up in the air. And I'm learning to find peace and love with the unknown.

Life is always uncertain, but as a very dreamy, curly-haired boy used to tell me, 'The future is made up of 'now' moments'. Only now do I understand that.

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