I am quick to get attached and to fall in love. In the blink of an eye! One moment I’ll be talking to you, and the next you’ll lean on the table to write something down and I’ll look at the curve of your back in that shirt and I’m done for!

I pour my heart and soul into loving my lover.

If it’s unrequited, it’s somewhat more exciting. It seems so dramatic – I cut my fringe, spend a lot of time pouting, drinking coffee. I’ll keep my sunglasses on inside. It feels so French. Some form of unnamed ‘chic’-ness that can only come with one-way street love.

If someone asks how you are, just sigh and say your lover’s name, assuming that they understand, even if you’ve just met them. Stare longingly at couples holding hands.

You consider taking up smoking. You know it’s a filthy habit, and you hate the smell of smoke (it doesn’t help with your asthma either), but it would help with everyone knowing your pain. Plus, you’ll look so much more like Jane Birkin while tapping the cigarette on a busy corner in town.

Spend your time reading love poems. Consider writing a memoir. You are the first person to go through this anyway. Women around the world will need your advice. Listen to a mix of Louis Armstrong and Sam Smith. Perfect the cat-eye. Wear mens shirts. 

Most importantly, never even suggest to the person you love that you love them.

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